New Toilet Technology has Illuminati on the move to develop new laxative virus. The virus will be some sort of mutant super airborne monstrosity. The powers that be (TPTB)
will begin to have a new regulation commence to be enforced by all cities and municipalities, world wide. The regulation says that all public and private toilets are to be turned in to the Fema toilet disposal centers all across the world. Failure to do so will result in big butt problems, since the authorities will have the power to enter homes and all toilet sanctuaries across the world to enforce the new stinky law. The penalty for non compliance will be the forfeiture of the right to use any form of toilet paper, and especially 3 ply. TPTB will allocate a minimum requirement of (3) new high tech toilets per (1) household for a maximum number of people in the household being no less than (5). All other households less than five will be allocated (1) new high tech toilet. All public and private commercial real estate holding agents will need to fill out a T4-f form. Which will be made available at Wal-Mart Dec. 25th 2009 and to be remitted by no later than the 1st of January 2010? Failure to remit will result in severe fines of up to 5 ounces of monetized gold per day.
The new high tech toilets were developed a long time ago by Alexander Graham Bell but the technology was suppressed by well meaning Aliens. But now TPTB and Rocketfarter
smell the time is right to unflush the new toilets. The new features are quite sickening, here they are……..
The toilets will function just like telephones. You will need to open an account with the service provider. You will receive a personalized flush number to access the toilet. All toilets will have a unique flush code that you will need to dial up from your cell phone.
Once the connection is made the toilet will give your butt access to the toilet seat. Of course you will be paying by the minute and extra charges apply for farts as there will be high security odour sensors built in to the units. If you flush out of state or out of specified service zone long distant flush charges will be applied. Just like cell phones users will be able to purchace a multitude of flushing plans. American Express is to make available the new American flush card as well, to aid with this new technology.
Monthly rates have yet to be determined however.
Huggies stocks may hit new highs as they leaked their new high tech diaper, designed for heavy loads and poor butts.
I don’t know but all this just came to me as I was flushing.
Imre
